Wednesday, December 17, 2008
In honor of my mom
My mom passed away on Dec 4th after a hard battle with lung cancer. The best word I can think of to describe this whole experience with my mom is...surreal. I left sunny, warm California to fly to Wisconsin to be with my mom all day, my siblings and me taking care of her needs in a beautiful hospice care facility, surrounded by cornfields, with the weather cold and gloomy outside, knowing this would be the last time I would be with my mom. It's heartbreaking, it's life changing ....it's transforming. These past few years my mom and I grew a bit distant from each other, but this whole experience and her death is life altering for me. I feel a new self emerging. I have been taking stock, reflecting on my life and initiating change. I feel more grounded, more adult and even less materialistic. The few material possessions I thought I could never do without...photographs and my childrens artwork and baby things no longer hold their appeal, because in the end it just doesn't matter. What matters is how well you lived the journey, were you kind & generous with your talent and time, did you give of yourself, did you live a happy and joyous life, now hard did you laugh, did you do what you love. Did you love well? These are the important things. And so I am making changes....and I am creating like crazy. I don't even sleep in on the weekends any more...I'm up creating artist trading cards. Every chance I get I'm noodling with them...doesn't matter if it's 15 minutes or hours. I wake up in the middle of the night excited about my artwork, about life, about where I am going and who I am becoming. My mothers life and death has given me a new and fresh outlook on life, in ways too numerous to mention and in ways I could never have anticipated.