Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
|Alley Cat (c)2017 Polychromos and Pablo on Stonehenge 8x10|
I have to confess that drawing Alley Cat was a struggle. I started her over 3 times! I really don't know what happened, it was a first for me...and made me question myself and my art. All I can think of is I didn't have the right colors to begin with and that super threw me off. But I also couldn't quite see the colors correctly, or decide exactly which colors to use. It was soo weird. I know this summer I was struggling personally with finances... I had a lot of unexpected expenses and little savings to cover them. I'm also very exhausted these past few years from working 70 hour weeks between my full time job and working on my art business...fueled most days only by caffeine! Sometimes the weight of responsibility can weigh very heavily on me...and my to do list is long...like really long!! Most don't see any of this tho as I wear my super woman armor around...but when my water heater went out on the same day as my car was at the mechanics for the third time within 2 months and the plumber messed up the handles in my shower and didn't tell me...all my cracks broke wide open and the flood gates parted!! I was pretty much a hot mess that morning! But that released something deep inside of me that I was clearly holding in.
Everything has been paid for now, my new drawing of Bob Scratchit is going so easily, the pressure that had built up for months is gone and I am feeling centered-in alignment-again. Phew! I can breathe again. I don't think I'll ever have all my shit together, altho it may look like it on the outside...everything ebbs and flows...that's life. It's how we handle it...I use humor, drawing, my animals and nature to help get me through the hard times.
When I see certain drawings of mine through the years, memories flood in...Alley Cat will be like that...that I went through a period of struggle, I consciously worked to released it and life went back to normal...actually better than normal. I know I am blessed and VERY grateful for my wonderful life...this portrait will always remind me of that!!