|Before the disaster with the background|
Going into my fox drawing, I knew in the back of my head there existed the possibility that I could wreck it...but I really didn't think that would happen, until it did!! :(
I was SO unhappy (and super grumpy...of course the hundred + weather did not help either) that I put it away in the afternoon and did not draw again that day. I wanted to look at it with fresh eyes this morning...yup I wrecked it alright!
I've been pretty upset about it until I had a talk with myself and am trying to set myself straight...it's just a drawing, it doesn't have to be perfect, I don't have to be perfect, I don't have to be in a hurry with it (!!!), this is a wonderful opportunity to push my skills, as I feel I am not that good with backgrounds.
My need for perfection is very stifling, boring, kills my creativity, brings down my resonance and throws me out of balance.
"It is also one of the most profound nemeses in the search for the Soul and the Soul's Path."
For an artist and person like me it also causes lots of needless suffering. My mind/negative ego just races with very unproductive and down right mean things. I know exactly where this stems from, I've been working on this issue for many, many years as it got so bad for awhile I did not not create any art for almost 7 years!!
I have come a long way with it through the years, I know I am loved and accepted by God even if I create bad art!! In fact they are probably happy this all happened to heal a bit more with it, because it's only a small stupid drawing of a fox...yet...it represents more than that to me. I can take this as an opportunity to heal and grow or continue on this hamster wheel of perfection.
**I'm not there enough to show you the disastrous background yet!! Hopefully next week, either way!!**