Metamorphosis

Kgaeke (Flickr)

This morning I read this entry on Christine Mason Miller’s (Swirly Girl) blog: Every journey changes us~ every step we take away from our comfort zone is capable of shifting our perspective of the world and our place in it.

Right now I am in this groundless void of the unknown, trying furiously to figure out myself, my art and where I am going. I feel like this is a time of transcendent metamorphosis, where I am emerging as a different kind of person with a new kind of future. And in that future I want greater success with more happiness and joy, greater love with more intimacy and caring, and greater living with more richness and glimmer. I'm not afraid any more and feel soooo ready to take that next step...in fact I'm ready for a giant leap!

releasing

I am taking a moment in my life to pause and in this pregnant moment I am:

trying to breath


embracing groundlessness


letting go


and dreaming....


Life is constantly calling us forward...

...and even tho I am experiencing some of the most painful moments in my life right now, I know that in the midst of it all, lie the seeds of great spiritual awakening. I just have to relax into my own well-being.

Accepted

This is the awesome oak tree outside my bedroom window. He's an ancient one~500 years old! I love watching the squirrels charge around it!


This is my daughter Emily and dog Josie helping me set up my tent for a photo shoot. Altho I have to say Josie was really not that much help...but she sure is cute (and wacky...come to think of it, so is Emi!).

Had to take photos of my tent to submit to the Montrose Arts and Crafts Fair coming up in June. Which by the way I just found out I was accepted into!! YAHOOOOOOOOOO! SO, now I have to study all my photos and see what else needs to get done so it looks fabulous!! New white table clothes that go to the ground, letters on the top front of the tent that will say drawings collages, a few high risers for each table, new ties for the curtains...and so much more...the list is long and growing by the minute. Now the work truly starts, pulling it all together in time! Along with the framing of all my new art work...phew...yeah...alot of work!

icw

Xanthe by Helen Fay
Franchesca II by Helen Fay

Aren't these etchings by Helen Fay magnificent? I just love her long legged dogs! Her prints really convey the essence of these beautiful canines without excessive detail and her compositions are very unique and dreamy. I spent many, many hours in the printmaking lab while in college, so I can really appreciate the skill of her work as well. Check out all of her gorgeous etchings at: http://www.helen-fay.co.uk/

This beauty was outside my bedroom window on Saturday seducing me with it's exquisite pink color in a sea of green.

A new drawing I started very early Saturday morning while still in bed...one of my favorite places to draw. I listen to either "This American Life" or my new local favorite themoth.org. It's very quite in my house on weekend mornings...so still...it's a great time for creating!

Almost finished with her...there's still areas I'm not happy with. Have to keep at it until I am, but she will soon be mixed into a collage piece, as well as the drawing above.

i candy wednesday

Hilary Williams

I am LOVING this artist! I found Hilary Williams intriguing silk screen prints through dear ada's blog (http://dearada.typepad.com). Her urban pieces take me back to my childhood of spending long summers with my grandparents in Chicago (3 blocks from Wriggly Field!!). I love the way she has combined architecture with graphics, abstract elements and animals. The muted greens and bright reds, all fuse so well together. Please check out her abundance of prints, drawings and paintings at: http://www.hilaryatthecircus.com (you'll be there for hours!)

luck

I took this photo last weekend on my trek up the mountain with my pup Josie. Over the weekend I started seeing clover just popping out everywhere, which prompted me to examine my thoughts around luck. I don't believe that luck is random, unpredictable or happenstance. I think "lucky" people create their own good fortune by looking at their choices, thoughts, attitudes and beliefs, seeing opportunities and working on their expectations around them. I view luck like I do miracles...something that supersedes our expectations. I believe it's all a process after we've created a resonance that attracts those energies like a magnet.

Here are some of my favorite quotes on luck:

I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. Thomas Jefferson

Good luck is another name for tenacity of purpose. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Luck to me is something else: Hard work -- and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't. Lucille Ball

naughty kitty

See this cute, sweet little thing...well look what he did to my commissioned piece below! He jumped up onto my drafting table when I was out running errands. I had about 3-4 hours into it, not much, but drawing it out is the most intense part of the drawing for me. And I'm so busy that every hour is very precious. He's sooooo lucky that I adore him!!


I am finally starting to feel myself getting back to "normal" after 4 weeks of being on an emotional roller coaster ride. Last Wednesday thru Friday was pretty intense, but I worked through a lot of residual grief that was still in my system and a huge dose of loneliness. But I didn't push it down or try to distract myself from it...just plunged deep into it and I felt much lighter when I came out of it. I figured I might as well deal with it now instead of later!

So, the only art work I have been working on is my commissioned pieces. I started the two drawings below before the *%#@ hit the fan. I've had absolutely no desire to create or finish any work since. Quite the opposite of when my mother passed away...I couldn't STOP creating. Life certainly is weird! I'm hoping to jump back into these drawings that I planned on mixing into collage elements very soon. Maybe if I can just start making some small collages (ATC's) ...the bug will bite me again!

I am interrupting my usual Wednesday i candy segment to bring you this endorsement ( no I am not getting paid for this!) I HIGHLY recommend this book...I already read it years ago when it first came out but popped it off my book shelf once again a few nights ago. It has been invaluable! I've been studying and living metaphysical principles for 15 years now and this book has helped remind me to look at my situation from that perspective, which I am grateful for. It says in the book that sometimes the message has to be very loud and the pain extremely intense so we pay attention....which is what it felt like. The first story in Colin Tippings book is my exact story, just different names & characters. I realize I made this soul to soul agreement with my boyfriend so I could finally heal this issue of "not enough" because it's been tainting my entire life and I can't get to where i wanna go if I'm still holding onto this stuff. And believe me, I wanna go very far and have a magical, extraordinary life. So many things happen below our conscious level to help us heal and grow and if we can just step back, we are then able to get a fresh frame of reference. It certainly isn't always easy, I resist at times but in the end it is soooooo worth it!

This is the only picture I took while in Wisconsin! It was gently raining, and I just happened to notice this little puddle outside my sisters patio door. There were bubbles and drops and leaves and when I tried taking the photo all I could see was my reflection...no matter how I angled my camera....but I actually kinda like it!! I loved the weather there again..rainy, snowy, gloomy. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't live there again but I love visiting~ the weather is always so distinct...it's a nice change!(I love thunder storms too!)

I worked my toushie off (as well as my siblings) for four very long days~ painting, cleaning, packing and more! But my mom's house is looking so beautiful! I know she is smiling down on us and saying why didn't you do that when I was here?! And we would have said cuz you wouldn't let us! My brother came through like a power house coordinating the huge project that had tremendous bumps along the way. And so to him I am extremely grateful for all he has done for my moms estate.

After I catch up on some VERY needed sleep I will be starting a new commissioned piece of a young girl and her retriever and trying like mad to finish up some drawings/collages to show you. Stay tuned!!

Point Pools by Nicole Strasburg

I went on Nicole Strasburg blog (http://strasburgpentimento.blogspot.com/) this morning. She shared an article by one of my favorite authors, Malcolm Gladwell that just made my heart soar...thank you Nicole...that article totally shifted my mood and my feelings towards all of the heartache I've been going through lately. It put me in such an elevated feeling of gratitude towards my boyfriend..it was thrilling to my heart and soul! I feel well on my way to healing. All the processing of my emotions, meditation, journaling, art work, lots of distractions and now this article have all helped me tremendously.

So... this then will serve as my Wednesdays i candy segment...check out Nicole Strasburgs beautiful paintings...that's what drew me to her blog...her lovely landscapes! They have such a feeling of nostalgia for me...a wistful desire to be back (home) in Wisconsin again. That's right...I will be back there tomorrow!

2 new things

My youngest daughter caught me in a moment of weakness (as my emotions are all over the map these days) and talked me into adopting this adorable rascal. His name is Sterling..not my favorite name in the world, but I was out voted! He's actually helped all of us bond during this time and keeps us occupied with his antics. My second new thing, which has been on my Amazon wish list forever is The Altered Object by Terry Taylor. I've only skimmed it so far, but am looking forward to diving deeply into it on the airplane to Wisconsin in a few days. Other things keeping my mind off things are redesigning my website, and finishing up a commissioned piece for a wonderful client in Minnesota. The drawing is of her and her husband dancing together...lots of intensity and passion...it helps renew my faith in love...thank you Renee!!

heartache

Where have I been for two weeks? Trying hard to recover from a broken heart...that's where! It's been an excruciatingly painful process seeing my boyfriend move out of our home. I've been crying over and frantically processing this whole situation for a little over two weeks now. I'm finally feeling some peace today. Two losses (my mom past away in Dec) within the last 4 months have been very hard on my heart. I couldn't have gotten through this without my incredible siblings, friends and daughters...and my art. This piece is not quite finished yet but it represents having no voice, a dear john letter and a heart that's been hurt. I'll post the finished piece soon. What heartache have you suffered through?